Moving Miss Peggy by Robert Benson

Moving Miss Peggy: A Story of Dementia, Courage and Consolation
by Robert Benson

I read this little book early this past Sunday morning.   The copy of it was acquired on Saturday afternoon at ALA 2013.  Mr. Benson was there in person to sign copies of it.  I had never read any of his works before.  I may send him an email now that I have read the book.

This is a very well-written and poignant story.  It is written in the third person for the most part.  It is not written from the point of view of the author, although he is obviously a character in the story.  Sometimes it is addressed as "we" (the four siblings who must decide what to do with their mother), and then each sibling or spouse is named when necessary.  

Miss Peggy, as she is most often called, married young and gave birth to five children over the next 16 years.  After her husband passed away fairly young (their youngest child was still just 16 years old), she led a rather independent life working and enjoying living.   However, in the last couple of years, some things haven't been quite right with her, and her living children gather to decide what must be done for her, and who will do what things for Miss Peggy.

She is experiencing dementia, and it is getting worse.  She is not quite the self she used to be.   She has already had to give up driving.  It is finally decided that she must be moved into an assisted living facility, and her large townhouse must be sold   The siblings set out to find just the perfect location for their mother.  In the meantime, they are trying to carefully dissolve their mother's household and belongings.  Various pieces of furniture goes to various grandchildren who are moving out on their own, for instance.

It is a beautiful story, and it really resonated with me.   I have experienced some of these things recently with my grandpa recently moving into assisted living.  I inherited some very special furniture. . .  and this past Sunday, my grandpa was able to share again the story of how he and grandma acquired that furniture more than sixty years ago (they were moving, and many of their possessions were lost in a flood.  This was some of the new furniture that they were able to get at cost.)  Grandma died seven years ago now, but she was experiencing dementia at the time.

I highly recommend this book.      

Candy Bomber by Michael O. Tunnell

Title: Candy Bomber: The Story of the Berline Airlift's "Chocolate Pilot"

Author: Michael O. Tunnell

Original Publication Date: 2010

Date I First Read: 2010

Basic Category:  Juvenile Nonfiction. 

Basic Summary:  This is the story of Gail S. Halvorson, the Chocolate Pilot.   One day, while landed to deliver supplies to Berlin in the late 1940s, Lt. Halvorson was inspired to give a group of children there at the landing strip two pieces of gum to share.  After that, he wondered how he could deliver more treats to the children of Berlin.   His fellow pilots donated some of their own candy rations, and from the plan, he would drop the candy by attaching little parachutes made of handkerchiefs.   

What, from this book, has stayed in my mind:   Some of the children who received chocolate have stayed in contact with Gail Halvorson over the years.  

Notes:   This is a good book for 4-6th Graders.   It is also a 2014 Caudill Award Nominee.   

Rating (1-5 stars):  4.5  

Annie's Ghosts by Steve Luxenberg

Title: Annie's Ghosts

Author: Steven Luxenberg

Original Publication Date: 2009

Date I First Read: 2013

Basic Category: Nonfiction / Memoir / Genealogy

Basic Summary:  The author was surprised after his mother's death that he had an aunt.  His mother always claimed that she was an only child.   After her death, the family received a letter from the cemetery where their grandparents were buried asking if they wanted to plant flowers for them, and for a woman named Annie Cohen.   Mr. Luxenberg investigates, and interviews over a hundred people in an attempt to learn the whole story behind Annie, and why his mother kept Annie a secret.    Much of their unknown family history is also discovered (along with changes of surnames upon arrival in America.)   

What, from this book, has stayed in my mind:   I just finished reading this book a week ago . . . It is amazing that they wanted to hide their second daughter.   At the time her physical and mental disabilities were considered shameful, at least in their family, and in the area Annie's parents were originally from.   It made me feel very sad for them all.  

Rating (1-5 stars):  5

Data, A Love Story by Amy Webb

Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online Dating to Meet my Match by Amy Webb
Original Publication Date:  2013
Date I First Read: 2013
Category:  Nonfiction/Memoir

Summary:  Ms. Webb thought she would meet her future significant other while on international journalism assignments.  After some rather bad relationships, she decided to try online dating.   That wasn't working out so well, either, until she signed up as a man, and tried to see what men liked in the most popular profiles of women.

What I Liked About the Book:  I picked up this book because I, too, decided to joined an online dating site and create a profile.  And I found my eventual spouse quite quickly!  In fact, Ms. Webb got into online dating at the same time I did.   When she started mentioning instant messaging, I dated it as 2005, and I was correct.  I enjoyed getting another perspective on it . . .  it rather validated the idea that we did the right thing.  We aren't the only ones!

Rating (1-5 Stars): 5 Stars 

Y is for Your Baby's Best Shot

Title:  Your Baby’s Best Shot: Why Vaccines are Safe and Save Lives

Authors: Herlihy and Hagood

Original Publication Date: 2012

Date I First Read: February 2013

Basic Category: Nonfiction

Basic Summary:  This well-written book outlines well all of the reasons parents should give their babies vaccines (and addresses most arguments against.)  It includes an extensive reference bibliography. 

What I Remember About the Book:  I was really nervous about my son following the standard vaccination schedule after reading a different book about vaccines four years ago (one that took quite a different stance.)  However, he was fine, and I am so happy now that we did.  I remember that this book actually gave me the assurance that we made the right decision. 

What I Took Away From the Book:  Get the vaccines . . . and that I should make sure my vaccinations are up to date!

Rating (1-5 stars):  4

U is for The Undutchables

Title:  The Undutchables: An Observation of the Netherlands, Its Culture and Its Inhabitants

Author: Colin White and Laurie Bouke

Original Publication Date: 1991

Date I First Read: 2005

Basic Category: Nonfiction / Culture

Basic Summary: The author present inhabitants of the Netherlands, and how they live life.

What I Remember About the Book:

I read a used copy of this book, which I fell in love with.  The authors attempted to be humorous, and were successful part of the time.  I picked it up because some day I want to go there . . . half of my ancestors were originally the Netherlands.   I remember most the section on the Dutch being reluctant to pick up the phone when it was ringing.  It struck such a chord with me!  Maybe that’s way both my dad and me freak out about a ringing phone . . . and panic a little bit every time.  It’s inherited phone anxiety!

What I Took Away From the Book:  I still would like to visit the Netherlands someday. 

Rating (1-5 stars):  5

Allergic Girl by Sloane Miller

Here is are the links to the book posts about Allergic Girl by Sloane Miller that I posted to my other blog:

http://leislj.blogspot.com/2012/03/reading-allergic-girl-adventures-in.html

http://leislj.blogspot.com/2012/03/post-2-about-book-allergic-girl.html

I will also post soon about some other books I have read recently!

Shattered Dreams: A Memoir

Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist's Wife: A Memoir by Irene Spencer, 2007

Chapter One begins: "As we were growing up, polygamy was the ruling tenet of our lives. This "Celestial Law" was so integral to who we were and what we were trying to accomplish that most often, we referred to it simply as 'the Principle'. Everything else we were to do or not do, be or not be (a great deal, as it turns out) was ancillary to this: men were to have as many wives and as many children as they possibly could during the few years they walked this Earth. It was upon the conclusion of those trying, earthly years that we would all reap the divine rewards for our obedience to the Principle" (7).

This book is about Irene Spencer's time growing up as the fourth child of her father's second wife, and how they grew up very poor because her father drank and could not make enough money to support his (eventually) six wives. Irene's mother ends up remarrying a monogamist who is also an abuser. Irene herself had the opportunity to marry for love and monogamy when she was 15, but instead, felt the Lord tell her that she should become the second wife of a polygamist who lived part of the time in Mexico (because the US government had cracked down a bit on polygamy).

Irene became pregnant every time her husband was willing to be intimate with her (which became a stretch - eventually he had collected at least nine wives, most of which ended up divorcing from him, after they'd given him about 56 living children total). She gave birth to 13 children, and then adopted a child as well. Her first baby, a girl named Leah, died soon after she was born. They didn't know why. (Could it have been a heart defect? Just curious.) She wished they could just have intimate relations just for fun (and use birth control), but just about every time they did, she got pregnant.

All through the book, you can feel the author's frustration with having to share her husband with all of these other women and children. There was also never enough money to go around, even in Mexico. Irene leaves him a few times, but then of course, her husband threatened that she would never see her kids again. Finally, after twenty-some years of marriage, her husband died. It seems it was a release for her. She could finally live for herself and her children. She remarried a monogamist, and they seem devoted to each other.

I recommend this book. It was quite an education for me!

Comfort: A Journey Through Grief

Comfort: A Journey Through Grief a memoir by Ann Hood (2008)

"Grief is not linear. People keep telling me that once this happened or that passed, everything would be better. Some people gave me one year to grieve. They saw grief as a straight line, with beginning, middle, and end. But it is not linear. It is disjointed. One day you are acting almost like a normal person. You maybe even manage to take a shower. Your clothes match. You think the autumn leaves look pretty, or enjoy the sound of snow crunching under your feet.

Then a song, a glimpse of something, or maybe even nothing sends you back into the hole of grief. It is not one step forward, two steps back. It is a jumble. It is hours that are all right, and weeks that aren't. Or it is good days and bad days. Or it is the weight of sadness making you look different to others and nothing helps. Not haircuts or manicures or the Atkins diet.

Writing about Grace, losing her, loving her, anything at all, is not linear either. . . Grief doesn't have a plot. It isn't smooth. There is no beginning and middle and end" (52-3).

This a very small, short book, but oh, so heavy. I could not put it down! I saw it a week or two ago on the new nonfiction shelf at one of the branch libraries, and I just knew I had to check it out.

I learned from this book that not only do older people sometimes die of a virulent strep infection, but supposedly otherwise healthy five year old children. I knew when I started this book what would happen. It says so on the book flap.

Ann Hood arrived one day in April of 2002 to pick up her 5 year old (whom she'd had at age 39) daughter Grace from ballet class, and the teacher told her that her daughter had possibly broken her arm. So they go to the ER, where they said yes, it was broken, and that the pediatric orthopedist might want to do surgery, but that is could wait a few days. Grace started running a fever, but her pediatrition wasn't that concerned. However, Ann was concerned and took Grace back to the ER, where they still didn't think anything serious was going on. Two days later, after surgery and intubation, Grace died in her parents' arms, while they are singing her Beatles' song, Grace's favorite music.

This book is about Ann's grief, and how she deals with it. How she deals with it differently from her husband (Lorne). How their son (Sam!) deals with it. How Ann could finally deal with sorting through Grace's things. How she could not tolerate the song "Amazing Grace" anymore. How she gave up her love affair with the Beatles, because all things Beatles reminded her of Grace. How they missed having a little girl, but found, now in their 40s, that they could no longer conceive, even with IVF. How they adopted a baby from China. Annabelle did not, could not, replace Grace, but she brought hope and laughter back into their lives.