Undead and Unworthy

Undead and Unworthy by MaryJanice Davidson (2008)

Okay. . . This is the seventh book in the Betsy Taylor series. I did not enjoy this book nearly as much as several of the previous books of the series. Perhaps it is because a few of the characters died and because it just was not as humorous! Where was the funny quirkiness I've come to expect from the author? I just didn't feel it this time. In previous books, the humor comes from ridiculous situations such as finding out that her newly discovered half-sister, Laura, who teaches Sunday School is actually the daughter of Satan, an extremely good daughter of Satan. In this newest installment of the series, I wanted to ask the figurative question: Where's the beef?

The Fiends are loose. Their minds are returning and they are remembereing who the are. So . . . they want to kill Betsy, because she's the vampire queen. It's not her fault they were made into vampires, and made to become feral, dumb creatures.

The entire book was boring, with the exception of The Ant (her now-deceased young stepmother, whose body was taken over years earlier by Satan, gave birth to Laura, who was then given up for adoption) coming back to haunt Betsy. This is really the only fun part, to me, of this book.

Chalked Up

Chalked Up: Inside Elite Gymnastics’ Merciless Coaching, Overzealous Parents, Eating Disorders and Elusive Olympic Dreams by Jennifer Sey (2008)

I couldn’t put this book down, and I read it in a few hours. (This was also perhaps helped by some insomnia, but still . . . )

Apparently this was a much-talked about book in gymnastics circles earlier this year when it came out. I was not aware of it when the title caught my eye from a display at the Mission Branch library a few days ago. Prior to actually reading it, however, I looked up the author’s website and blog. I didn’t recognize her name, though if she was in gymnastics in the ‘80s, I really might have seen her on tv at some point. I watched gymnastics back then, wanting to take part, knowing I was too old and too big all at the same time. Sey won the 1986 US National Championships. She was worn out and exhausted, and with lingering injuries before the 1988 Olympic trials.

This book really shows me that I would have never had the guts to do it. Sey says that as a kid, she really, really wanted it, and tried hard to be good enough. However, she was never good enough, at least in her mind. Her coaches all managed to point that out often as well. Even when she was little, age 7, her coaches kept telling her she wasn’t going to get anywhere if she was scared. (I would have been too scared. I might have liked the floor tumbling routines, but doing the same on the balance beam?? No way. I tried a somersault on the balance beam once in a beginner’s gymnastics class, and that was enough.)

Sey is quite critical about the coaching styles in the elite level of gymnastics. She admits that to stay competitive that she had to keep in shape even while she was recovering from injuries, but she does ask why no one in elite gymnastics puts a stop to pressuring, insisting that gymnasts keep ruining their bodies to achieve an often elusive dream. She also brings up the parents. I get the sense that her parents were not necessarily pressuring her at the beginning, but by the time Sey reached the elite level, her parents and family had rearranged their whole lives to focus on her goal. By the time that Sey was burning out, her mother was pushing her to kept trying to go on, to reach the ’88 Olympics. Sey admits that during all of those years, she did not or could not recognize the sacrifices her entire family was making for her. She feels bad now for a lot of things.

Sey is also very candid about her “diet” strategies to lose weight, and how weight was/is such a big deal in elite gymnastics. She is also candid about how she would peel the skin on her fingers as a way to cope. This is not always pleasant reading, but then I did not expect this book to be a pleasant happy read.

One part of her life that I wish she’d gone into more was her decision about a breast reduction (after she quit gymnastics, she matured and gained weight, and was not happy with the size of her chest). She does express that when she had her first son, she felt like she was not good enough because she could not produce enough milk for her baby due to the breast reduction. I feel like there is something lacking here, though. After all of the details (“despite the self indulgence”, page 279), then she kind of skips through life now. (And I wanted to know more about her BR, given that I understand, at least to some degree.)

I do like Sey’s Afterword. She feels like a failure in everything she does now. Ever since she attained success at a young age, she says, “It is inevitable that anything less than number-one status provokes feelings of failure. . . I work myself to the brink of exhaustion to suppress the feelings of not being good enough.” However, she goes on to say that really she is not a failure, that she is trying to do her best to raise her two little boys, that she forgives her parents and thanks them.

The nice thing is that she does have an online presence, and you can go to her web site and find links to articles and pictures from her years in gymnastics in the ‘70s and ‘80s. www.jennifersey.com

The Little Prisoner

The Little Prisoner: a memoir (how a childhood was stolen and a trust betrayed) by Jane Elliot - First Published in Britain in 2005, republished in the U.S. in 2008. It was a British #1 Bestseller. I acquired this book through the LibraryThing Early Reviewers Club. This is the third book I have received and reviewed for LibraryThing.com.

First, I should say that I have read this book in its entirety. Jane Elliot (a pseudonym for her protection and that of her family) was inspired to write by reading Dave Pelzer’s extremely popular book A Child Called It. Pelzer’s book has been popular for several years now in the libraries I have work in, particularly amongst teenagers. That being said, I have not read that work. Five years ago, a coworker read the book and described it to me in such detail that I have had no desire to read it.

This newer book, Little Prisoner, shows me why I have not read Pelzer’s book. It is HORRENDOUS the way people treat one another. Child abuse of all kinds is not every right, and it was not just child abuse in this book. Everyone is threatened with violence by Elliot’s stepfather (who is only 14 years older than her) – and we come to find out that it is just not her stepfather, but her some of her half brothers who learn it from their father. If people even seem to threaten that they will tell authorities, police, etc, her stepfather promises violence, and he follows through. The idea of “family” is very twisted here. I usually like memoirs, and I have read some involving abuse, such as Sickened by Julie Gregory. That said, Little Prisoner is very well-written. It is clear and precise – from the author’s confusion from the so-called “games” her stepfather played, to the fact that her mother acted protective at times, but chose to look away most other times.

In the introduction to this edition, which I really enjoyed, Elliot rightfully “suspects” that there are two categories of one, those from “stable, happy homes, who can’t understand how any one can abuse child” (xii), and two, those who “suffered something similar themselves and find some comfort in discovering they are not alone” (xii). I am of the first category. As I read this, I constantly wondered how anyone could ever do this to any one. As it comes out during the court trial years later, this was beyond child abuse, it was about “fear and control”. I don’t understand, really, how her stepfather and all of his accomplices could have done all of these things, and continued to do them. I lost my infant son to heart defects, and would give nearly anything to have him here to hold. To me, it seems that a lot of abusers take children for granted and then don’t treat them with the love, respect and attention they want and need. I just don’t understand it.

I applaud the author for sharing her story, and hope that her family, with her husband and precious children, is doing well.

* Three Books *

Hallowmere #2: By Venom's Sweet Sting by Tiffany Trent - Just like the first book in the hyped Hallowmere series, by the end it was very good, but in the meantime, this historical fiction/fantasy story seemed very long and quite a slow read. At just short of 300 pages, it should have been a fairly quick read for me. Again, I liked the ending, but maybe it was just a relief to reach the end after a rather, um, ongoing plodding plot. The point is that this series will have 10 books! I guess to be a saga or maybe epic it probably needs to just drag on. Usually I like wordiness, but I have found with the first two books that maybe something needs to be edited or condensed. I haven't figured out yet, what needs to happen.

You, Staying Young: The Owner's Manual for Extending Your Warranty by Drs. Roizen and Oz. - This is a fun read, like their other books. I like the gray side-notes the most: "Yoga could very well be the ultimate de-stress technique. It lowers blood pressure and heart rate, decreases stress hormones, and increases relaxation hormones like serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins. You can get the benefits of yoga in a single pose or in a full-fledged class" (78). I think the authors put a lot of things about health into "lay language" that makes a lot of sense and makes the information in this book much more accessible to a lot of people.

Waking: A memoir of trauma and transcendence by Matthew Sanford - This memoir is written by a guy who got into yoga (yes, more yoga) years after he was paralyzed from the chest down in a horrendous car accident as a young teenager. Now he teaches it, too. However, the part of the book that was the best, the reason I picked up this book at the library, was the story of his twin sons. One of them (William), they discovered in utero, had hydrocephalus, so they were planning on how to deal with a child who would have problems, but as the pregnancy went on, this little baby passed on. However, his mother continued the pregnancy for his healthy twin. The scene near the end of the whole book was the one that struck me the most: "Later, William and Paul and Jennifer and I are physically in the same room for the only hours we ever will be. I am struck by the calm, the beauty and ease with which we are a family. Paul in Jennifer's arms, William in mine, we are happy as we drift off into the silence of sleep" (240).

Teenage Waistland

Teenage Waistland: A Former Fat Kid Weighs in on Living Large, Losing Weight, and How Parents Can (and can't) Help by Abby Ellin (2005)

I read part of this book (skimmed it, really) two years ago in 2006. I heard of it again recently, and vaguely remembered skimming it, so I put it on hold. I am almost done reading it, and find it quite riveting. The point is, basically that by the time kids are teens, parents have no control over their kids' weights, and that individual temperments, genes, etc, will partially dictate a person's weight. Also, that teens need to be able to make their own decisions. When kids are young, even before they start school, parents can try to present healthy examples to the kids, and offer healthy foods. Many of the examples of parents in this book show that the parents themselves have a variety of food issues. How are they going to really help their children when they are hung up on themselves as well when it comes to food, eating, weight?

The book is a combination of the author's experiences growing up, in her family and at a variety of "fat camps" she spent several summers at. As a young adult, she had disordered eating as well. For a while, every third day she could binge if she wanted to, but the two days between, she had a nearly anorexic-type approach to eating. She lost boyfriends because she refused to eat with them. When she was growing up, her parents and grandma were always on her about her weight (and they were "dieting", too), and she loved food so much, and more when she couldn't have it.

The book has notes, resources, and references. It is a well-written book and definitely worth reading. It will make you think.

The Secret Circle Volume 3: The Power by L.J. Smith

The Secret Circle, Volume 3: The Power by L.J. Smith (1992)

First of all: the cover is upcoming! I need to scan the cover of my personal copy, so you can see how beat up and well-read it is.

Yes, I read this book as a senior in high school, after I'd read Smith's Vampire Diaries series of four books. I actually discovered the fourth Vampire Diaries book (Dark Renion) in the adult-level horror paperback section of the public library. The library did not own the rest of the series. I ended up buying all of them to read, and then ended up buying The Secret Circle trilogy, as well. Anyway, I loved all of these books. My favorite of all of the books I've read by L. J. Smith is The Power. These are "teen" books, but even as a senior in high school, I loved all the magical powers in these books. I've always wanted powers. I still love the third book of The Secret Circle, because of the main character, Cassie. Cassie, at the beginning is rather shy and meek, which are traits I have always thought I've had (though not quite so much anymore. . . I feel I am less meek, anyway), and by the end, she discovers not only the magical witch powers she has had all along, but the just the strength and abilities for leadership she's had all along without recognizing them. I always want to BE her. That is the power books can have.

The Secret Circle Trilogy is supposed to be released as an omnibus this fall. I think that means just a big book with all three books included. I think I would almost like another book with the characters. Actually, what I've always wished for, since the characters in the book were about my age (in high school when I was in high school), and I am now in my 30s, I would like a book more on the adult level and seeing what happened with Cassie, Adam, Diana, Faye and all the rest in the time since 1992 or so. Did they go to college? What happened with all their magic? Did any of them actually marry each other (since too much intermarriage really doesn't work out well genetically in the long run, although maybe it's different for witches, etc)? Any children/little witches running around?

That's what's fun about these books, too. . . the changes in what's popular, technology, etc. Walkmans are mentioned a lot in these books. . . now it would be iods, of course. Beepers are involved, but no cell phones. Cell phones were still very - large - and expensive in the early 90s. (It was until maybe two or three years after this that my mom got a cell phone for her car. It was phone with a whole cord and console. I wish I had a picture!) No internet! No IMing! I am glad these things are not there . . . really, one of the themes of the book(s) is the friendship and camraderie of the group, coming together to solve problems.

As a teen, though, I really loved Cassie and Adam getting together in the end. The romantic side of me, dreaming of just such an occurance for myself, thought this was just wonderful. I did kind of feel sorry for Diana, just a little, but also felt like eventually she would find her own guy with a silver cord. That everything would turn out fine.

The Book of Kehls

The Book of Kehls by Christine Kehl O'Hagan (Copyright 2005)

I am not sure why I picked up this book at the library. I think it was because I liked the title, and of course, I like to read memoirs. I feel like I am a "glutton for punishment", too, becuase I discover the book opens with the author's 24-year-old son dying. The whole time, even before I checked the book out at the self-check counter at the library branch, I kept asking myself, "Why am I planning on reading this book?" I knew it would make me cry.

It was really what the author had to say about grief and guilt that I needed to read. The author is a carried of Duchennes Muscular Dystrophy (DMD), and miraculously her (and her husband's) older son does not inherit the gene. They are hopeful and have a second child, and so much think they will have a little girl (who may be a carrier, but will not die from DMD), that they even paint the baby room pink. Instead, they have a second baby boy and they find that he has inherited DMD. He is diagnosed after his uncle, who lived into his early 20s also, has died from DMD. It turns out author's brother had DMD, the author's uncles and the author's nephews. It's been a genetic "fluke" that's been passed down in their family for generations.

After Jamie dies, Christine, the author, is extremely depressed, and finally all the guilt for Jamie's life comes out. She won't permit her husband to take any of the "blame", "guilt" or any other descriptions that could be put on it. It was very powerful when her husband tells her that it is his fault, that the guilt doesn't belong just to her. He took part in the creation of their son, too.

Near the end of the book when she is talking about what she has learned from all of her experience with muscular dystrophy, she says this:

"I'm not sure that you come back from grief stronger, wiser, tougher, or purer in spirit. Part of you, especially when you lose a child, comes back crazy. These days, Patrick and I are like a couple of helium balloons, keeping each other out of tress. When we get up at night for drink of water, we say 'I love you' to each other, and when we go anywhere, we hold hands. . . We tell too many people we love them too, and we cry much too easily. If you see us coming, and you want to run the other way, we completely understand. But it's nothing we can help. . . To me, it all seems a miracle. . . In restaurants, I'm delighted to watch everyone swallow, and I'm delighted to follow the natural rise and fall of a sleeping chest. . . Some days, the pain of losing Jamie feels like a boulder on my chest, and on other days a pebble that sinks to the bottom of my show. . . The hurt is always with me. Beautiful days are tinged with a brilliant, hard sadness, as if each day Jamie won't see is behind an unbreakable glass. My loss, my regret, color the seasons in a different way" (207-8).

It wasn't the deaths recounted in this book that made me cry, it was this long paragraph. Do you come back crazy? And she so right - the natural rise and fall of someone sleeping is so incredibly beautiful. Just last nigh, I was listening my wonderful, lovely husband breathing while he was sleeping. And missing our little Samnini so much.